Wow so where to begin. I fell in love with this girl about 2 years ago. She was and still is everything to me. I hav never loved anyone as much as i love her. We lasted about 6 months..a very short time for how much i love her. I got severe with drugs and lost her and everything else in my world. About a year after we had broke up i was cleaning up my act. got a job stopped doin meth. Everytime i saw her id go cry somewhere.... i always felt pathetic cause its way out of my nature to cry randomly. She had just ended things with her new girl and i told her how much i still love her and all that good *BLEEP*. i pleaded that things would be different. I was lucky enough that she loves me too. But at this time i sorta had been seeing someone else and didnt want to risk losing anny again so i kinda *BLEEP*ed it up from the beginning. i broke it off with the other person but they constantly texted me. 3 months of this and anny had enough. she read a text that was just a little too *BLEEP*ed. i said some things i shouldnt have said but i was honestly just trying to make the other person feel better. i felt guilty...obligated. Its not like i cheated on her though. i had succesfully lost the one person i love more than anything...again! I started dating someone else and we have been dating now for a year....Why is anny still in my head..Why am i still madly in love with her. its hard being in a relationship when your in love with someone else. MY girl friend doesnt deserve this. ive never told her though so yeah. Im obsessed with her. I think about her everyday. Ive never had better sex in my life...lol we both are still friends..have been off and on..its just torture though cause everytime we start kickin it for a while things get heated and we end up having sex a few times and then i dont see her for months. I feel like her booty call kinda...i love this chick but i cant handle this emotional mess. i just want her..but as my girl friend. I dont wanna be that person she calls when she wants to *BLEEP*.but at the same time i do...idk what to do. She just does and says all the right things.she knows how to control me. im *BLEEP*in obsessed......yuck its almost disgusting...i hate loving herr so much. i just wish i knew how to be happy on my own. or i just want her back.

Sounds like a messy situation. I was in SORT of a similar situation back when I was in high school. I had been dating my ex for about 7 months and she started to get in to meth again. She had been a huge druggie a year before I met her, but I always stressed to her how much I disapproved it, and I would not put up with it. We were expecting to be together forever, I have even applied to go to LSU and move away from Texas so that she could go to her school of choice.

But one of her friends moved back who was all in to meth and all kinds of drugs, and he was also a homosexual. She would hang out with him when I was busy with school or some other obligation I had from college, and she knew I didn't like it. She started to come over messed up on all kinds of stuff, Xanex, Ex, cocaine, and meth a couple of times. I had even confiscated a bag of meth I found in her purse and she flipped out on me, telling me to give it back and stuff. I had to threaten to tell her parents for her to stop, because they were devout Catholics and she would've been in a heap of trouble.

Time went on and then out of no where my best friend's dad died. I had to be there for him through the entire thing, and that just pissed my girlfriend off....which I wasn't very happy about. They were holding a memorial for his dad at the bar he owned here in town, and I was going with my friend. My ex couldn't come because they were hanging Christmas lights or whatever, and she got mad that I wouldn't come over to help. After the memorial we were going to have a bonfire on the beach and drink a little. I told her not to come, because it would be bad if she did. She came anyways, and she was messed up on ALL kinds of stuff. To make things worse, I was blacked out, rambling on about her habits. The next thing I know, I come to and she's wailing on me, landed one solid punch on my left eye, which I had to get treated at the University Health Center, and she also nailed me in the groin twice. After that I ended it. She begged for me to take her back, and come over a couple of times coked up, and would just be all over me.

5 months later I run in to her at the grocery store and she tells me that she eventually went to rehab and stopped everything. Her parents even stopped drinking. That was a huge blow to me, because I had been so devoted to her, and all I wanted was for her to be clean for me. After that I started thinking about her a lot, but soon after she moved to Baton Rouge to begin school. I went through about a month of depression, and I kept in touch with her a little bit and tried to salvage things, but it couldn't be done.

What you need to do tazanupaws, is to think about whether or not she thinks the same way about you that you think about her. Otherwise it's just wasted effort. If you spent all the energy loving someone that loved you back, it would be as if you were getting back 300% of the love that you give. That's the magical thing about it. You just need to spend a weekend or so and really evaluate the situation and come to a conclusion that's best for you. Time heals most wounds, but it really, really sucks during the process of the depression and desire.

I hope you come to a conclusion that will free you of this curse. I seriously suggest you sit this girl down and have a talk about all of this with her once you've thought it out. That really is the best option.

Man thats rough n tough lol being a gurls booty call really really really @!$%. but ehh theres always other gurls out there dun get hung up on one mah friend or it'll tear u apart ---longstorry personal experience to lazy to talkabout it----

Okay so heres the problem, your still seeing her when see doesnt want to have a relationship and you do. Thats the first thing thats going to mess you up because every time you 2 get together for you its the best, and you want her more and more, but for her shes just using you. It sounds like she doesnt really care at all and she knows your still in love with her so shes using you for her sexual pleasure, But i could be wrong here, maybe she still does have feelings for you and she was just hurt when you got into drugs, and maybe thats why she keeps meeting up with you because she secretly misses you but doesnt want you to know cause maybe shes scared she will lose you to drugs again and doesnt want to be put threw the pain of seeing you like that. Lets face it no one wants to see the one they love all messed up, they just want to be with you and make memories together.

So the way i see it, you have a few choices.

Choice Number 1
Tell her how you feel. Take charge, set up a meeting for the 2 of you and tell her everything, lay it all down on the table and see what she says. If she truly has feeling for you she will want to try and find a way to work things out, and if she doesnt, well thats when you move on to Choice Number 2.

Choice Number 2
Cut her out of your life completly. If your trying to move on then thats the first thing you need to do. Get ride of anything that reminds you of her, dont make any secret meetings anymore, and try and avoid going places you know you will see her, because this is going to be hard for you and if you mess up then you need to start all over again. But if you can seem to get this one right then try Choice Number 3.

Choice Number 3
Continue with the way things are now, if you cant succeed in either of these then just keep living a miserable life were you cant be with the one you love and your going to end up hurting the one your with.

These are just suggestions, you dont need to actually do any of these but if you want to change the way thing are now which it realy seems like you do, then i suggest you just try. Good luck