I don’t want a relationship. It’s not something I’m looking for, the last few guys I’ve been with have treated me rotten and to top it all I’m interested in possibly seeing my ex again – I don’t know what will come of it but I just want to keep the relationship aspect out of my life at the moment!

This guy and I have been friends about eight months; not long really, but we have a laugh and a joke and make general innuendos. That’s just the way we are and the way I’ve always been. We're good mates! Thing is, yesterday it wasn’t just innuendos anymore it turned into a game of strip Blackjack - the sober version.

We were having a laugh until the point at which we were both naked or near naked. But for some stupid reason we decided to continue playing with the loser of the hand getting some kind of forfeit. First it was looking, then touching… I’m sure you get the picture…

I don’t know quite when it stopped being a game but it did – obviously. We ended up having oral sex. We agreed it would stay between us because although to us it was just a bit of fun we didn’t think our mutual friends would agree, and to be honest, they would make jokes from here to eternity. We also agreed it would never be spoken of, which I was happy with until the following day…

Unfortunately, at college the next day things were a little more awkward than expected. Neither of us had looked at the other that way until the previous night and things were different. I felt like we were both avoiding each other and obviously the lack of talking didn’t help.

I guess it is to be expected but do you think there is anyway in which we can still be friends? I don’t really see why not but it’s considered the “done” thing if you get my drift. It’s not been long since it happened so I guess I’m just in a waiting game.

What do you think? Advice needed!!

SarahScope

I'm not normally the sort of person who does these things!!

This post has been edited by sarahscope: Sep 11 2007, 06:55 PM

Talk it out. You uncertainties and the awkward silence are combined, since you state he appears just as awkward then it would be safe to assume that he has relatively the same unresolved feelings you do. You have to address these uncertainties on both sides. Just be prepared for him to want something more (even if he downplays it); look for the signs.

From what I got the point, you and him are almost alike. If you have ever thought that kind of thing is not something that will be -just a game-, you shouldn't have done it.

However, if it has been done, I guess it can't be helped. From what I suggest, I say letting for several days is needed for the ice to melt. After about not more than 3 days, one of you must act. From what I know, after what have done between you, you can never go back to the way it used to be.

But don't lose hope yet if you really want to build relationship with him again. Waiting game will not be a good thing if it's too long already, so it's now return to you. After this, you must think once more what you've felt for him, who is him for you? If you really thing he is just a friend, then try to act casually.

If you think he is more than a friend, then it's time to change the way you used to be...

Chill:) There's nothing to panic about. Some guys have that reaction to their first/one of teh first sex times. Just cme to him in college (!!!Not outside!!!) and say that it's normal, that you'll still be friends no matter what happened, blah, blah, blah - I'm sure, you know, what to do. It should work - It worked for me.