The hardest times for me after a breakup are the lonely nights at the apartment we once shared. Four and half years and now I'm back to solo. It blows but it wasn't a complete shock. PS - Sorry for the long post. The short of it is this: What do you do to pass the time?

Here's what I've done and found it to help:

-Go out with friends
-Surf the net
-Read forums like these


Other things I've done that don't help:

Paced around the house
Lay in bed trying to sleep
Make a myspace / facebook
Watch DVDs
Hitting the bars / clubs

Watching my DVDs sucks, I've dropped that from the list. I don't have (or want) cable at the apartment so we've always just watched our DVDs together. Very depressing to watch them alone now, especially the comedies...need new stuff. I'm now considering paying for cable!

Pacing the house and laying in bed trying to sleep - that makes me want to text / call her. No good.

Make a myspace / facebook - Maybe eventually this will be good, but right off the bat it doesn't help. Still too depressed and disconnected from other people. The pretty girls all look so...foreign. Like strangers. Plus immediately after a long term relationship, you probably don't have a very wide network of friends.

Bars / clubs - This one sucks right after a hard breakup too. I've always hit the bars every weekend and felt fine because I had a wonderful girlfriend to come home to. Right after the breakup, it's just like the myspace / face book thing. All the girls look like strangers, all I want is an immediate replacement so I definitely shouldn't be going to the bars getting drunk. I know that an immediate replacement is just a temporary kneejerk reaction and I also know that I don't want any girls from the clubs. So what do I end up doing at the bars / clubs? Standing there, sad, comparing everyone to my ex and my relationship. I'm guessing this will go away in a few months and it will be fun again - but not during the immediate aftermath.


So tell me what you all do to pass the time. I'm curious to know. Thanks for reading!

You are a lucky person to have times to pass at night. I usually work and work to forget every non-sense things in my head but if i am not working or bored, i just find an interesting book to read or watching a Family Guy cartoon on DVD (funny stuff make me forget how my life sucks).

one more thing, remember that no matter where you are you can not forget her if you mind won't. You just have to find something to do that busy your mind. Human brian is not capable of thinking of 2 things simutanously.

I was once heartbreak but everytime i was playing music in a band or playing a serious game of football with many people made me totally forget all about heartache after i finished playing i was like back to the same old thought again and i was like thinking to myself that last hours that i was play music or the game were the most peaceful hours in months.

So my friend, find something to do that busy your mind something that makes your mind so concentrate on it (do it with others would help more), and surely watching DVD isn't gonna do it. Our brains aren't multitasking OS. and trust me only time can heal your wound and get you out of it. Just be patient. You will laugh about it in the end. Good luck man.

Well since I'm not allowed to go out of the house in the late night, I usually just listen to music or sit on the comp during the night!

I'm sorry to hear about the break up, I know how much it hurts and what goes through your head. Games (can be) very good, depending on how you play. Any hobbies? Maybe try taking up new things - you'll never know what you might enjoy.

Haven't really been through what you are going through but I can tell what makes me forget the troubles of my daily life. Comedy, as some before said, funny stuff relaxes you and loosens you mind of any troubles. Either I watch Family Guy or Comedy Central stuff or I browse the internet for funny videos or jokes.

Thanks for the replies, interesting stuff everyone. It does suck but I've been through heartache before and I know it'll pass eventually. Good call about being patient. I think patience is a key thing to have when going through hard times. You just have to wait a few months and look forward to feeling good again.

I can't imagine what it must be like for people who've been married for 20 years and then suddenly find out their spouse has been cheating on them or something terrible. That happened to my uncle a couple years ago and he had to deal with being 45 years old, alone again and living in a small town. He made it through OK though, started a business and seems like a confident happy guy now.

hi~! I haven't been here for several months cuz I got a lovely girlfriend. and today the reason why u see me again is she is now in another city for her job. well , maybe feeling lonely is bad, but somethimes it seems necessary for a person to find a place and stay alone for somewhile.
Now I can pay more attention on my own life, on my business. life is full of ups and downs. so, take it easy, u can learn something from your uncle,me too.

start your new life! go ahead~

Hey this kinda copied off my post in another thread but something else I've found that helps is getting to know your friends better. Don't just go out with your friends like you did when you were in a relationship. You know, just go out with the guys, stand around and drink a beer then go home early because you're depressed. Instead, work to deepen your friendships. I never shat on my friends like many guys do in relationships but I definitely didn't know them as well as I should have.

I've also experienced a breakup. Yes, it does hurt but, if I remember correctly, I intentionally swamped myself with work back then to deliberately forget about him. Well, I didn't do too good work but, I suppose, 70% is a lot better than moping around and doing nothing. In time, though, I suppose my mind (and heart) has moved on enough that I no longer think of him all the time, which is, I suppose, what you're aiming for

In any case, it wouldn't hurt to busy yourself with stuff. Go get a hobby, or take the extra time you suddenly had to pursue something you always wanted to do. In my case, I started blogging and, eventually, building a meager, personal website.

I would also agree with the suggestions that you call up your friends, chill and hang out like you used to, before she came Who knows? They may provide the emotional support you need during you, ah, dark moments in life.