hello all. i would greatly appreciate it if you would help mewith a big issue i have. i'm sorry if you can't understand something i've said - i can't think straight.

i know it may sound strange, but i will begin by telling you a bit about the autralian (nsw, at least) education system. there are three main breaking points throughout someone's education: the oc, selective and hsc. the oc stands for opportunity class. it is a test taken in grade 4. basically, they are classes where the kids are smarter, the teachers are more qualified, and the class remains the same throughout grades 5&6. you sit the test in grade 4, are told whether you qualified, and then are told to select which oc class you wish to go to. this often involves moving schools, because as previously stated, there are only 10 schools with oc classes in them in sydney - in sydney there are over 200 schools. some, such as i, were lucky enough to already be attending a schol with an oc class

then comes the selective test, which is taken in grade 6. this is where it is determined which high school you would attend. it is called the selective test, because just as there are oc classes, there are also selective high schools. these are schools which only accept students with a higher selective mark and have most experienced and qualified techers, and mostly better resources.

finally, there is the hsc (higher school certificate). this determines which university you will be able to attend, and most likely which career you will take up. this is the most important exam in your schooling life - many people commit suicide due to the stress imposed on them to do well (seriously). there is only one high school which has ever had a student/s complete the hsc with full marks (a seemingly impossible feat): james ruse agricultural high school.

i am currently 13 and so far my education has been ideal. i attended a school with an oc class in year 4, and got in. i then attended the selective test and received excellent results: 279 out of 300 (the average is around 185). this mark immediately allowed me to attend james ruse agricultural high school, which is the most academically-excelling and prestigious high school in australia (they only required 243 marks to get in).

so... now to my problem!

throughout grades 3&4 (when we were only 9&10!), there seemed to be this craze going around, which suggested that every person would 'like' or be attracted to a person from the opposite gender. i thought this was a load of *parcllub backwards*

this was until a year later.

as i mentioned, the oc class in years 5 and 6 remains the same. it is also a mix of people from many different schools. so, when i went into year 5, i met many new people

one of those people caught my eye immediately

i don't mean to rattle on forever about how this happened, but here is a simplified account...

firstly, i was attracted to her because of her beauty, abnormally high intelligence, crystal clear voice and fiery personality.

i finally mustered the courage to ask her whether she felt the same way for me at the middle of the year. she said yes! i was overjoyed, and in my joy, i was stupid enough to relay this information to my 'friend' at the time. knowing 'who likes who' was a very popular method of teasing. this 'friend' that i told seemed to be jealous that this girl liked me, so he told everyone else. pretty soon, we were the laughing stock of the grade.

i understand fully why she did this, but this girl proceeded to ignore me throughout the entire rest of the year and the next year. people stopped teasing us, however i was sad that she had rejected me so.

then, we sat the selective test, and this girl and i both got into james ruse. i thought this was a great opportunity to start fresh.

during the first three quarters of the year, she acted normally towards me: as if nothing had happened before. on one behalf, this was good, because we began talking to each other again. however, she showed no signs of still 'liking' me.

being the impatient person that i am, two weeks ago i couldn't resist asking here again whether she liked me. i had put it off for too long.

i truthfully didn't expect her to say no. but she did

and it hurt. it hurt very much.

i am devastated. i am a wreck. i never thought the truth would hurt so much, but it does.

please, tell me what to do. she continues to talk to me as if nothing had happened, and i act the same way towards her (trying to hide from the truth), however deep inside i know that she really doesn't 'like' me.

also, please try to understand that 'liking' someone is even a larger point of discussion in high school. i have always wanted to let her know that i like her, through some gesture such as holding her hand or giving her a hug, however her and the reaction of her friends will be negative.

i want to ask her: what has changed? why don't you like me? do you like someone else? how can i change so that you will like me?

however, i know that she will scorn the question.

please, what should i do???

It seems like a lot of time has passed and things change, possibly including her feelings for you.

That's the worst-case scenario, anyway.

I think that if you really want to pursue it, think about actually being friends again and then later if it bothers you still to sit down and talk to her about it. Don't sound desperate or needy... I know how it might be very compelling to drop down a maturity level and almost whine and beg, but if you are mature about it and if you respect her choices and answers, I think that you will find your answers and learn to move on, with or without her. If there's something about what happened in the past that bothers her, maybe you guys can just remain friends or even work something out.

Remember to be mature. If she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, the world hasn't ended. Try to be understanding and supportive of her decisions even if it does hurt... and move on. Don't let it kill your performance in life; you're at one of the most presitigious schools in Australia for a reason. Don't let this ruin everything.

Then again, if you guys get back together, that would be awesome too.

Keep us posted on what's up.

This post has been edited by rayzoredge: Nov 15 2007, 02:40 PM

Yep I completely understand you and it is very interesting that all of guys have this same pattern. Eventhough people say that men are pigs and they just fool around and all that, but if we do have passion or love for a woman, the time that passes doesn't matter to us! Girls however do care about time and if you wait too long, she'll go away from you, find another person or another person will find her...

OK, your situation is bad! Let's be honest - you two had some sort of crush 2 years ago if I understood correctly and you still have feelings towards her, but she doesn't. In other words the flame between you two dissappeared!

My suggestion to you is to just let it go. The one thing you should not have in your head right now is that she is the only great woman that you will ever meet! It is not true, great girls are all around you, you just have to open your eyes for someone else than this girl and stop thinking about her...go out - it helps!

That is the best thing and maybe, I say maybe...you becoming uninterested will make her interested again...

thanks for the advice guys. yes, it probably is because too much time has passed... i should have thought about that.

heavensounds: as for letting it go... i don't think that will be too easy for me. i don't know whether you understand me, but it's kinda like she's the only one there for me.. she just seems perfect in my eyes... as for seeming to be uninterested... i know that it will not work with this girl.

there is another girl who always seems to hang around me... giving me hugs CONSTANTLY and ruffling my hair etc. problem is, i just don't feel for her the same way i feel for this other girl. there are other people who are also cool, however we maintain a friendly relationship.

rayzoredge: that is exactly what i cannot understand: what has changed (apart from time)! i am very compelled to talk to her, however firstly i do not know when (she is always with her friends, and if i approach her, then they will begin teasing and embarrassing her). that will make her like me as much as she likes the bubblegum on the bottom of my shoes. i believe that talking to her via msn or phone is cowardly... or is it?

so, when and where do you think i should talk to her, considering that i am always with at least two of my friends (who are loyal and follow me around - i am the only corcasian in grade 7 of james ruse!), and the same goes for her?

because, as i said before: i really would like to talk to her about this.

those flames that heavensounds was talking about... how can i reignite them? again, without either of us getting harrassed by others.

for me, there are two ways this could turn out: i go to the other girl, however i am not happy and still want this one. or, this could turn out ok.

so, my new questions:
-how do i talk to her with our friends who will harrass us if i get near her and try to talk privately
-how can i reignite that flame heavensounds mentioned

thank you so much for your help!

Well, what you need to do, is to rebuild a cool friendship with her. And stop thinking in private relationships by now. Please be calm and patient. Show her that you are worthy of her, be there when she needs someone, be yourself (NEVER DO THINGS YOU DON'T USUALLY DO JUST TO IMPRESS HER), and trear her like a real friend.
Be honest with her, don't lie to her just to make her feel better or something. Honesty is IMPORTANT here, and will always be.
Then, by the time, if you are a real nice and sweet guy with her. She will surely look up to you when she has some problems.

When with your friends, talk with her with your friends! If you want to talk all the time privately with her, she will start to suspect something. The best thing that you can do, is to befriend her friends and to let her meet your friends. But never ACT, just do your best effort.

Hope you get my point.

thanks for that.

i already am friends with her friends. also, she knows most of my friends and is friends with them.

i understand you fully. i should try to build a relationship with her a little at a time.

i will first try to make her know that i am her friend and i will always be there for her.

problem is... how do i show her this?

The time will come =D
Be patient and show her full support in everything she does. But if you think she's doing something that's not cool. Make her see it.
And if she asks something like "why do you tell me that's not good?" or something. Tell her the truth: Because I care about you and if you do that, this will happen, or this will go wrong. etc etc etc etc. I don't anything wrong happening to you.
Some things like that xD
But be very patient, don't rush anything. And don't act dramatic when some problems show up! Just care for her the way you care.
The time will come and the opportunities will show :3

hmm... the problem is, the social do-or-die laws of australian high schools say that if you show you so much as care about a person of the opposite gender, you will mercilessly be mown down by insults and teases.