Ok... so I have this ex-girlfriend named Kati. She was a really nice girl while we were dating, very nice and sweet. During the end of the relationship she just started to randomly yell and be mean towards me. So then she broke up with me. I felt real bad cause she was like perfect to me. I realize now that she's not and I have gotten a new girlfriend. Well, I was on myspace a couple of days ago and I see she put on new pictures. I look at them and say "wow". She just looks better than ever. Amazing to me. I've started to talk to her again and I expected that she wouldn't want to talk, or she wouldn't care about anything I'd have to say, but she actually seems interested and is telling me that she wants to see me. She says she misses me and misses hanging out with me. I can't tell if she has really changed or not. But anyways. Like last night she sends me a couple of pics of her boobs with "Hi Anthony" written on them (that being my name ha). I want to know from you guys what exactly is she tryin to do. Could she actually want me back or does she just want me to think so just to torture me and make me misserable.

This post has been edited by Becca: Aug 16 2005, 01:46 PM

The question is: Does she know you have a new girlfriend?

If she does, she could just have a little bit of the "That-will-always-be-my-man" syndrome. I don't know if it's because we are all just animals with an innate sense of possessiveness or what. But most people don't want to see their former significant other move on with another girl/guy. It's wierd. It's like we're attracted more to someone that's playing hard to get (at least it's like that for women). Although I find that a man reacts similarly.

As far as dumping your new girlfriend for her: I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. Your old girlfriend is probably playing mind games with you. But when you really think about it, that time before you become really serious about a person, is just a big game. So it really depends on what you want. If you want your old girlfriend back, you cannot let her know that you are interested, or desperate, as she will just use you up and spit you back out. You will need to seem somewhat unattainable, until you can trust that she is eating out of your palm. Otherwise you'll just get hurt. If you feel that you don't want to waste your time with her, move on and be happy with your choice.

Good luck

Ya, Kati knows I have a girlfriend. I got her right after we broke up. A little bit of it was to make her jealous. Damn, I seem to be worse and worse of a person everyday. Anyways, I think I'm attracted to her because I know I can't get her. Apparantly she wants this guy named Eric all of a sudden, and she's under the impression that everyone that shows an interest in her is trying to use her. Ah, I am so confused with her. I think that's another one of the reasons why I like her though. She's unpredictable. I can't figure her out. It seems like their will always be something new and exciting with her, but I don't know.

you know, i have the same thing, im with my boyfriend for 2 yrs now, he is so good to me, and he thinks im perfect 2. But i dont really like him as much as he likes me (im not really in love)...but I do love him since its been so long and so much time we spent together because we went with easchother so long. The reason why I dont like him so much as he likes me is, when we started dating, it went too fast, and before i knew we had a relationship. But I KNOW that if I break up, Im gonna regret it. I have feelings for someone else, and he does know that. But that someone else isn't as good as him. Hes kinda gangster hahah.

Okay, what I think, she does want you back, because, it's true, when you break up too fast without thinking seriously about it. you gonna regret (because you can never leave someone who you loved just like that). "you dont know what you got until it's gone!" And that's the same thing here, I think she wants you back, because she sees that being without you isn't like she really thought.

Im not leaving my bf, altough I really thougt about it. Because i always yell and being mean to him 2!! But now, I think about how it would be if I never saw him again....and even dough I can't live with him sometimes, I certainly cant live without him.

so Kati wants this guy Eric now but she's sending you pictures and flirting with
you? Here's my old lady opinion. She's thinking of getting invovled with someone else, and at the same time she's thinking of you, what she did to end your relationship, trying to figure out in her head if she's good girlfriend material, you know.

You showing interest in her is giving her a boost of self esteem. She might not actually be intersted in really getting back with you, it is a mind game, even if she really doesn't realize what she is doing.

Hey Dude,
Funnily enough a very good mate of mine has been having trouble getting a girl he really wants. She acts like she really wants him and like he is perfect for her, when I talk to her on her own she isn't interested. I started to think is this a nasty streak in her, but then I realised no - it's just that she is a nice girl that loves to have something to say. Sometimes when we want things to be we change things so that they are right for us, the way I see it is that you musn't let your self get dragged under. If you are on the surface of the water then you can see and hear everything perfectly. If you go out of your depth or get caught on anything then you get dragged under, and from under the water it's not very clear atall - everything becomes blurred and eventually you'll drown. If you really love the girl you are with now then this thought shouldn't have crossed your mind. If your happy how you are then just leave it, but if you aren't satificed then my all means meete this girl again, allthough a word of warning : un-predictable people are dangerous. Take care mate an best of luck with the future... Thanks for your time, Sean Webber. (Alive)

Well like I said before, if you choose to go that route with your ex-girlfriend, don't let her know that you're eager to get back with her. Act like it's no big deal. Once she sees that you're not falling all over her, she'll be attracted to you more. Think about it. How do you feel about her when she's playing all these mind games and sending pictures of her boobs, all the while telling you she's interested in some other guy. You are goo goo ga ga over her. So it's now time to flip the script. Don't let her know your interested. If you go out, don't call her right away, wait for her to call you. Act like your a major stud and keep on steppin. Date other girls and don't hide the fact that other girls are interested in you. That will send her over the edge of trying to hook you and reel you in.

I don't know why any of the stuff above works, but it does. In a way were like animals and very territorial. We compete for mates like animals, and don't like to share. I think this is innate in all of us. Once you start acting uninterested, you just become more interesting to the other party.

I guarantee it will either work, or during the process, you'll finally see her for what she is and get over her.

Hope whatever your choice is works out for you. As far as your other girlfriend -- I know it's not my business, but I feel that she has the right to know that you're not that interested in her so she knows where she stands. Cause it's kind of like you're playing the same games with her that your ex-girlfriend is playing with you. So just remember: "What goes around, comes around. Times 3."

Good luck