 Angels Of Mercy, My poem for those who died on flight 93 9/11 |
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 Apr 6 2005, 07:09 AM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Members Posts: 8 Joined: 6-April 05 Member No.: 5,310  |
Angels Of Mercy
From out of the sky on silver wings They could have been princess's, Queens or Kings Without a thought of there own despair Concerned about the troubles of others somewhere Knowing that soon for certain they would die They where bound and determined to take the evil from the sky Surrendering there souls so that others could live There precious lives each one did give My mind knowth not the horror before them As they fought with evil in a heavenly realm I'm not sure what I would do if it where me So brave and courageous these angles had to be Now the city ahead is safe and sound For they have finally brought the evil down Now with wings of angels once again they fly Somewhere in heaven far above the sky May God rest there souls and forever with him shall they be These angels of mercy from flight ninety-three |
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Apr 6 2005, 03:06 PM
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#2
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Premium Member Group: Members Posts: 150 Joined: 2-April 05 From: Somewhere in the webspace, with a huge spider beside me. Member No.: 5,163 |
Very nice poem, but has some spelling mistakes...
QUOTE(dvs @ Apr 6 2005, 06:09 PM) Angels Of Mercy From out of the sky on silver wings They could have been princess's, Queens or Kings Without a thought of their own despair Concerned about the troubles of others somewhere Knowing that soon for certain they would die They were bound and determined to take the evil from the sky Surrendering their souls so that others could live Their precious lives each one did give My mind knowth not the horror before them As they fought with evil in a heavenly realm I'm not sure what I would do if it were me So brave and courageous these angles had to be Now the city ahead is safe and sound For they have finally brought the evil down Now with wings of angels once again they fly Somewhere in heaven far above the sky May God rest there souls and forever with him shall they be These angels of mercy from flight ninety-three  And I am not sure why do you use the word 'knowth' when there are no other words in archaic form, for example: QUOTE For they hath finally brought the evil down And the rhyme is pretty and natural, and i love the 3rd stanza the most |
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Apr 6 2005, 03:15 PM
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#3
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Premium Member Group: Members Posts: 150 Joined: 2-April 05 From: Somewhere in the webspace, with a huge spider beside me. Member No.: 5,163 |
Oh, I just read the subtitle and finally understood what the 'Angels of Mercy' refer to:p
And then I read again, and realise how meaningful each line is, although the event happened long time ago. I am not from the US and I have forgotten much of the story but I didnt know the city was saved by the flight passengers... thanks for the revision:) |
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Apr 6 2005, 10:02 PM
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#4
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Newbie [Level 1] Group: Members Posts: 11 Joined: 14-February 05 Member No.: 3,753 |
I like it, it was good. Much better than I could ever do
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Apr 7 2005, 12:02 AM
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#5
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Administrator Group: Members Posts: 377 Joined: 28-December 04 From: USA Member No.: 2,992 |
Very nice and very poetic. I'm not a poetry critic but it took me back to 9/11 and a lot of memories.
The souls lost there in the cornfield and on the other fligts and the people inside the towers and pentagon are still remembered. thanks for sharing. Nils |
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Apr 7 2005, 03:36 AM
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#6
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Newbie Group: Members Posts: 8 Joined: 6-April 05 Member No.: 5,310 |
choetry thanks for pointing out spelling.
I wrote this poem just a few months after 9/11 I have it posted at poetry.com and I saw this forum here and thought I woould post it here. QUOTE And I am not sure why do you use the word 'knowth' It's like old style english may be from the 15 century becouse I read the King James ver of the Holy Bible. |
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Apr 7 2005, 03:39 AM
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#7
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Premium Member Group: Members Posts: 150 Joined: 2-April 05 From: Somewhere in the webspace, with a huge spider beside me. Member No.: 5,163 |
QUOTE(dvs @ Apr 7 2005, 02:36 PM) It's like old style english may be from the 15 century becouse I read the King James ver of the Holy Bible. Yea I know that's old style but that's the only old style word in the poem. I suppose if that's meant to be in the old style format, some of the other words should be changed to old style too |
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Apr 7 2005, 04:30 AM
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#8
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Newbie Group: Members Posts: 8 Joined: 6-April 05 Member No.: 5,310 |
I see your point.
I my end up changeing that. Thanks for your insight. |
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