So there's this girl at work, we'll call her Shaniqua. I work relatively close to Shaniqua several days a week. We've become pretty good friends and hang out once in a while. We text/chat all the time, etc. The problem is Shaniqua is drop dead gorgeous. I mean like a perfect 10 model. I'm not a bad looking guy by any means, but I'm not Patrick Dempsey either. She's constantly getting hit on/asked out by other guys from school (university) and work and she always turns them down straight away (granted they're usually annoying or prodding too much, but she can be a bit harsh).

We have everything in common, which some people say isn't good, but whatever. She's constaaaantly making sure I know how hott she is, telling me why this feature on her is better than on this girl, etc, as if I weren't already aware. I can't make out if this is flirting or if she seriously thinks she needs to prove that she's gorgeous.

Here's the thing. I'd love to ask her out, but I also don't want to ruin our friendship. And I think it would be awkward if she said no. I really have no idea if she likes me in that manner, as I'm not good at reading such things. If she weren't quite as attractive I'd ask her out with great confidence, but she is a bit intimidating.

I need advice.

I guess you only have two choices.

1. Ask her out. You are now seen as different person from her side. You are now categorized as not-just-a-friend. Be careful, if she refuses you. It will be so awkward. You take the risk to get closer to her, while on the otherside, the risk out your friendship.

2. Just stay being friends. It's hard. Having good looking girl around and can't getting closer. You just have to forget her and find another. This will save your friendship.

That's what i'm thinking if i'm in your position.

Like the previous poster above said, its a bit of risk and a chance if you do decide to ask her out. I'm also a bit hopeless at reading signs at times. But from what it seems, she's definitely views you than more than a friend.

Good luck.

I tell you now, don't even bother trying to date a co-worker those kind of relationships never go right and I want you to read every post on this topic about someone doing the same. Heck I recommend anyone who is trying to score with a co-worker to read this post.

When it comes to dating someone at work, there is a certain reality; if you don't get married, somebody will lose their job. It will be awkward for somebody, and often times a female won't continue working with a guy that she dated and things didn't work out.

My advice is to be cool.
Be as cute as you can be. You do need to be sure you're not "one of the girls".
Compliment her as you would your sister, not like a pervert. Tell her she looks good in that color, it brings out her eyes, then look away like you're just being nice. Don't stare or expect any response.
Keep your friendship as it is; don't change your behavior.
Begin mentioning cool things to do, but don't invite her. Entice her to ask about going. If she says, "Dude, that sounds like fun!", you can pause and say, "We could go check it out (don't use the word,'together'). You're not a rapist, right?" Use your sense of humor to keep it light. She won't know if it's an official date. Keep it that way.
If you go do something "together", keep your hands to yourself. Be like friends. Don't freak her out. She might be a bit unsure. Into the "date", she'll relax. It's you, after all! Did I mention keep your hands to yourself? These days, girls aren't too bashful to make the first move. Let her. Don't make a move unless she is definitely pushing you to try. Whether it's on your 1st outing or the 3rd outing, at some time you'll end up kissing her. Pull her in tight with those strong hands, but kiss her gently.
I know this girl. Beautiful, needs guys to fall all over her, but ironically, it turns her off the guys. She'll look right passed guys that are fawning over her and obsess over the guy who isn't. Unfortunately, it means you'll need to be a bit of a game player to reel her in, but she's the real game player after all. You're just playing her game.

If she comes after you, a relationship has a better chance of working out.

well, taht or tell how you feel about her or at lest take her out on a Date...

Sorry for saying this, but, I agree with Saint Michael. Those kinda relationships never work right, and it could turn into something pretty bad for your work. Like an example, you have a really really bad fight, and then she'll want to make revenge for it.
Guess what she can do. She can say that you were abandonding your work to flirt with her and you get fired because of that.

Just my $.01

Regards

P.S. Ofcourse its your decision what to do, I guess you know that, you shouldn't really rely on advices from general folks

I wouldn't say that things NEVER work out, but SM would be right about them not working out very often.

If you want to look at it from this perspective, is a potential relationship gone awry worth your job? Internal fraternization is frowned upon because of the fact that if things get a little hairy, work performance suffers, especially if you have to work WITH her. I'm not saying to go ahead and drop the issue to save your job security, but I'm also not going to advise jumping headfirst into trying for a relationship so that you don't miss out on possibly one of the best decisions you'll ever make in your life.

My advice in this situation is that when the situation is relevant, joke about dating her. That way, you throw the ball in her court. OR, if you would rather be more straightforward and less tolerant of this game BS that we all love to play (but never can really understand), sit down with her after work and talk to her about it (nicely).

Well as a few poster have said dating a co-worker isnt such a good thing just because if you are having relationship problems it will be very awkward just because u have to be around that person for hours and hours. But setting that aside it seems this girl is really on her looks and sorry to say this but she seems stuck up. But if thats what you enjoy its fine with me. She doesnt seem to be interested in any guy that has asked her cause it seems she has someone set in her mind to date her. It might be you, you never know but you wont know till you try. If you want my advice, take her out to dinner or something, have a good time and just have fun with her its sort of a date. but just dont lay it on to thick when u are out on the town havin a bblast, just hang out and be fun with her and like i said just have a good time.

This post has been edited by Brittney: Jul 2 2008, 04:28 PM